Great news ... you've been asked to be the best man for a wedding. Now for all the tasks that entails.

Among them -- and the worst for many guys -- is giving the best man speech. Because, you know, not only are you expected to speak (usually for about 3-5 minutes), but you may feel the pressure of being personal, funny, and heartfelt all in one talk.

You've seen those best man speeches in the movies. Are you really expected to live up to those?

That probably comes down to the individual situation. What is the groom expecting? And what do you expect of yourself?

One thing to remember about the movies is that those speeches are given by trained actors. And you're probably not even thinking about the background music designed to trigger emotions, on top of the whole movie setting up the perfect speech. So be realistic with yourself, for your own sanity, when it comes to your presentation.

BUT ... whether or not you have the time or talent to put a killer speech together, you can still have one written for you. If you're struggling with confidence about giving a best man speech, this can be a game changer. Not only because the right ideas are tied together, but a well written speech considers the rhythm or cadence of the words, and even lets you know where to pause or where to emphasize a word.

Meaning that a strong best man speech is one that will help to make you a better speaker if this is an area you're concerned about.

Should you hire a best man speech writer? If you have the time and talent for writing, you may not need to. In fact, my wedding speech form may trigger some ideas for you about the types of things you can put into a speech. The trick from there is figuring out how to make them all flow in with each other.

But if you're struggling to find the time, don't have the talent, or simply want a boost in confidence, hiring a best man speech writer might be the thing that helps to relieve the pressure and actually make you look forward to the wedding reception. Imagine wanting to give your best man's speech rather than sweating it out during the wedding service.

If you want a hand with writing a best man speech, you'll see from that wedding form that I get all the relevant information from you to make it PERSONAL. (You can fill it out yourself, or we can schedule a phone or Zoom call and I'll fill it out as we speak.) From there, it's my job to make things flow, to provide you with cadence and guidance, and to add in humor and heart.

​If interested in my best man speech writer service, my rates are here, and you can purchase it here if you're ready to get the ball rolling.

Please contact me if you're in a rush and need to see if I can write your speech in time. I do not charge extra for a rush job, but my unlimited revisions do become limited by time.

I read an article recently about people hiring speech writers for weddings or other social events, "even funerals." And there was an underlying tone suggesting that such a speech would no longer reflect your feelings as the speaker.

I wonder if the author of that article has ever had a speech written for her. Maybe she thinks a speech writer just throws together some generic niceties.

A professional speech writer gathers personal information from the speaker in order to make the speech entirely unique. They do what is difficult to do -- they take all that personal information and they tie it together beautifully. They make the speaker's own feelings flow in a way that can touch other people's feelings.

In my experience, it is still a deeply personal speech. Clients don't thank me because I put together a nice speech for them -- they thank me because I helped them express exactly what was inside them. As speech writers, this is the gift we seek to bring people.

And just a thought on that comment "even funerals" -- can you think of a more difficult time for someone to put their feelings into a presentation, especially within the 2-3 days usually available?

Can a speech you've hired be less personal? Yes, if you've not provided personal details for inclusion. But asking for help to put your feelings into words that you review and you approve when it feels like your speech ... that doesn't feel impersonal at all to me. It's a service that helps you express what's in your heart when you don't have the time or skills to do so.

I call my service "Your Speech Writer" specifically because I'm not writing for me. I'm writing for you.

There's not just one approach to wedding speeches. I've seen people turn them into pretty big productions with video, audience interaction, and more. These are fun ideas for those who are feeling ambitious. But at the heart of any of these is the speech itself. And for most people, the whole thing is just a speech.

If you're struggling to write a wedding speech and don't want to hire a wedding speech writer, I've put together some tips on putting something meaningful together. Hopefully this will help you brainstorm ideas and to structure the speech.

1) First, gather together a whole list of things you can include. You won't necessarily include them all -- this is a brainstorming session that you'll pick from when organizing your talk. When I work with a client on a wedding speech, I ask them to come up with content for as many of the following as they can:

• What the bride and groom do for a living
• How they met
• Strong personality traits of each -- for humor in a speech, this includes quirks or traits that people laugh about, as long as the bride and groom would also take it in good fun
• Their hobbies
• Important pets in their lives (for couples where the pets are like kids)
• Favorite books, movies, TV shows, and music
• One or more stories about the bride or groom (whichever one you're primarily speaking on) that demonstrate who they are -- great if at least one is funny and one is heartfelt
• One or more stories about your relationship with whoever you're primarily speaking about, especially if these again paint a picture of the person
• Any quotes or jokes you particular know you want to include, if applicable
• People who definitely need to be thanked if it's appropriate for your speech to include thank yous -- this would include parents of the couple; but the best man or maid of honor might like to briefly thank all the support of someone they love so much!
• Anything else that comes to mind as something you'd like to include.

It's ok if you don't have answers for all of these, especially for the person your speech isn't as focused on. (You might not know one of the couple very well.) In most cases, a wedding speech is only 3-5 minutes long, and you aren't likely to use everything you've come up with.

2) Although not set in stone, here's a general layout or template for a wedding speech that can work quite nicely for you:

• An introduction where thank yous might be included and you can introduce yourself if someone hasn't already.
  
• 2-4 stories depending on their length; these are what really personalize a wedding speech. Without stories, one wedding speech can sound very much like the next. They also help show that you know this person on a deeper level.
  
• Comments, quotes, or jokes that transition from the intro into the stories and/or between the stories. This is where you can include some of the details of their likes and dislikes, character traits, and so on. This is how  you can carry along a theme that the stories help to fill out.
• A heartfelt comment about the person you're focused on, both of them if you know the other well enough, and/or about them as a couple. This transitions you toward a toast.
• Ask people to raise a glass with you for a toast and share a toast -- this can recall some of the couple's strong qualities as shared in the speech, can offer your personal blessings on their marriage, or can pull from a favorite traditional toast you're familiar with. Some people will do this, for instance, when a toast recalls their heritage, like an Irish or Russian toast.

3) Some final thoughts for your wedding speech:

• I recommend extreme caution with jokes that will embarrass the bride or the groom -- especially the bride! You know the situation and the couple best, and maybe it's appropriate in some situations. But remember, this is their day.
• Also remember that the audience is there for fun and will generally be very supportive of the speakers. I can't say that no one's ever faced a hostile wedding crowd, but unless you're in an unusual situation, no need to be nervous; no need to try impressing everyone. You're there to show your love for someone who's important to you and to help others have a better sense of and appreciation for that person as well.

I hope this helps spur some ideas for your wedding speech. If you look at all this, though, and still can't bare to face a blank page and decide you need to hire someone to help, I welcome you to get in touch.

This isn't a political blog post. But it is about a politician's wife.

Yes, that politician. The one that stirs up so much controversy. The Donald. But in this case, it was his wife who stirred up controversy. Or to be more specific, her speech writer. Or as some have claimed, his wife since the speech writer was made up.

So in case you didn't see all the hoopla, Melania Trump gave a speech that included several portions directly from Michelle Obama's speech of 2008. So ignoring the problem of plagiarism for a moment, let's acknowledge the positive: Michelle Obama (like her husband) is a strong public speaker, and Melania seems to have liked Michelle's speech and seems to have liked those pieces of the speech. So while plagiarism is a problem, at least she showed some of what she believes in. This is important in that type of speech.

But this also underscores the importance of a good speech writer -- one that can take someone's passions and ideals and stories and craft them with power and cadence without lifting them from someone else. Someone who can craft them in the voice of the speaker. And while that might not happen in a first or second or third draft when first getting to know a speaker, the speech writer needs to be able to get feedback from the speaker to know what she feels are natural to her and what are not. This is how the speech is massaged to become the speaker's own voice, even though she's had help from someone else.

If Melania's speech writer does exist, I can't imagine how embarrassed she must feel and I'm glad that she seems to have come clean about what happened. And I'm actually impressed if it's true that Trump refused her resignation, accepting that this was a mistake. (I'm sure it won't be made twice.)

But if somehow that speech writer doesn't exist, or Melania's working with someone who hasn't done much with speeches, then I hope she understands the importance of her talks going forward now and she looks for professional help. I like to think that she's an intelligent woman with an ambition to get things done (just as I would hope for any First Lady ... or First Man / Sir??? if a woman became president. And what do you call the First Man if he was already president?) It would be a shame if she came across as less than she is because she couldn't quite put the words together to express her goals.

The whole experience is really a lesson to any professional, though, with his or her moment in the spotlight when it's going to make a political or financial or societal difference. Words can really give someone power. Or they can take that power away.

If you need to do some public speaking, you have to decide: should you write it yourself, or should you buy a speech by hiring a professional speech writer? In my mind, several factors go into this, and you need to tally these all up for yourself to determine the value of buying a speech:

1) Is it for a professional setting or a social setting? The more that money's on the line, the more valuable it may be to you to invest in a speech writer. Although there are plenty of reasons to hire for a social speech (read on!), people in social settings are pulling for you. They're generally not expecting or demanding too much. So unless you personally feel that you need to wow them, you may feel fine with writing your own speech for social settings.

A couple exceptions come to mind on social speeches: wedding speeches by the best man or maid of honor -- you've been selected as the most important friend or family member on someone's most important night. A good time to be funny and heartfelt without any awkwardness or inappropriate stories. A professional writer can help. Similarly with a sizable gathering for a retirement, where you're one of the few who will help to recognize someone's life work ... maybe time for a good social speech. In short, any social speech that represents a key moment in someone's life would be a good time to invest in help if you're ever going to.

2) Do you have the money? Maybe an obvious point, but for some people, money is easy to come by while time is not. You're going to have to put in one of the two. A speech writer won't eliminate your need to put in time, reviewing drafts and offering input. But he can help you avoid staring at a blank computer screen or revising that sentence for the 500th time.

But for those who have more time than money to invest, try writing the speech yourself if it's not "mission critical." You may find that you're happy with what you write, or that you're able to hire someone to just smooth it out, saving some money along the way.

3) What other value do you get from the help? Besides reducing the time you need to put in, does a professionally written speech help to put your mind at ease when you're presenting? If so, that's an invaluable asset for all those who dread getting up to speak. Or maybe you've been giving the same annual speech for years and you need a fresh message.

This is similar to assessing the value for any kind of professional help. Do you spend hours learning from YouTube how to fix that home appliance, ordering parts, then doing it yourself and hoping you get it right? Or do you cough up a couple hundred bucks to have it done by a pro, preferring to save your time for other things while improving odds that you'll have things right in the end? There's not one right answer for this. Sometimes we do things ourselves. We have to pick and choose when.

4) Can you get your message across through a purchased speech? It doesn't help you to buy a speech if the writer does a poor job of getting your words or message into written form. So if you're going to buy a speech, make sure that the "intake" process is thorough. This may be done by phone or by you filling out a form, but it needs to let you convey your thoughts and extract as many details as possible. An experienced writer will know how to ask the right questions, or will have a thorough form developed after having written for hundreds of clients. He's also learned how to write in a variety of voices to match a client's tone.

Given this point, you might ask a service how they gather your information before you invest in a speech with them. I have a thorough form for wedding speeches. For other clients, I write a series of questions for them to answer by e-mail or talk with them by phone, as they prefer.

I hope this gives you a few points to ponder when you're considering whether to buy a speech or stick with writing your own. If it's ever time to go with a professional, I welcome you to reach out and let me know how I can help!

There are plenty of ways you can be unique and memorable in a speech. Importantly, whatever option you take, it should fit the tone and purpose of the speech and your own personality. But one approach -- especially for a social speech -- is to consider a poem. Or for those with the talent for it, to turn that poem into a song.

This can be a great way to inject either humor or sentiment into a speech. Even if you're working with a professional writer who already acts as a second set of eyes, make sure to have someone you trust listen ahead of time and give you honest feedback. You don't want it coming across as silly and undermining your efforts. (Unless silly is what you're going for in that situation.)

As with any speech in general, the same words from two different people can be a hit or a miss, because so much has to do with presentation and personality. So this will be the case with a poem too. That's why it's good to have that person you know hear the presentation if possible.

If you do hire me for help with a speech and feel that a poem or song is right for you, you're welcome to put my writing skills to the test. I've written plenty of poems over the years. Let's talk about what you're looking for and see if it will make a good fit.

Just for fun ... here's a little diddy for you, written to the tune of "Matchmaker" from Fiddler on the Roof. Need the tune? Here you go.

* * * * *

​Speech writer, speech writer
write me a speech.
Make me look grand.
Make me a peach.
Help make my words
sound better than most
so others will love my roast.

Dear writer, see that it's perfect,
Make sure that it is true and it's tried,
It's not that I have an ego ...
It's just that I'm terrified!

Speech writer, speech writer
write me a speech.
Make me look grand.
Make me a peach.
When I'm up there
and I'm all on my own
Your words will put me at home.

When an executive needs a speech, there may be a lot on the line. In some cases, it might be more about reputation with employees or colleagues; in others it may more directly impact the company's bottom line.

The more at stake, the more valuable an executive speech writer may be. And if you're at the point of looking for help, you may want to know what the process is like working with a speech writer. While I can't speak for other writers, I can tell you what the process is with me. And of course I welcome any questions by e-mail or by phone.

(I should mention that I am happy to work directly with an executive or with an executive assistant. I can even work with both if one is simply providing extra information. I just need to have one point of contact who's giving me instructions on the speech itself, including revision requests.)

If you reach out through my contact form, you'll already have the chance to answer questions about the length of the speech, when you're giving it, information about the audience, topic / theme, and data or stories or other information you'll need to share. All of this can also be gathered by phone if we set up an appointment.

But once I understand that it's an executive speech, I'm likely to dig deeper. If, for instance, it's a quick talk at the Christmas party, this general information should suffice. But if it's a talk to the media, or a talk to the company when news hasn't been good, or a talk at a conference, I'll want more information about mood, expectations, overall setting, what the rest of the day has been or will be like (in the case of a conference, for instance), etc.

I'll also want to get a sense of the executive's personality -- does he like to tell stories? Which ones? Does she like certain quotes or statistics? Does he like to joke around? Does she like using analogies? Questions like these help me to better approximate his or her voice in a first draft, helping to minimize later change requests. This means helping to respect the executive's busy and valuable schedule.

I include any number of revisions possible within the time available to us because I want to do everything in my power to make sure the executive is happy with the final speech. Revisions can be requested in an e-mail, or with "Tracked Changes" and inserted comments in a Word document; or by phone conversation. My goal is to make the process as easy as possible, so whatever is best for you is best for me.

Finally, I am happy to offer my input on questions of presentation, and also offer an option for an audio file of me reading the final speech if the executive needs help understanding where to place pauses or emphasis or generally how I envision the speech coming across. In any case, I will make notes within the speech trying to make these things clear.

Any other questions about how I can assist as an executive speech writer? If so, I'm just an e-mail or scheduled phone call away. I can answer questions and even provide an initial sample of the speech before you make any decisions about hiring because, once more, I want to make sure you are happy with our collaboration.

By now, many people know about Bitcoin as an alternative global and digital currency. And finally it's becoming easier to exchange among people, much as traditional money has been through services like PayPal.

As a speechwriter, I'm now accepting Bitcoin as payment for my services, and am wondering if I'm the world's first speechwriter to accept Bitcoin! In any case, clients will see that as an option now on my payments page, and I hope this just adds a little more convenience for some people.

Never forget?

That's easy. Because September 11th is one more reason I appreciate being able to help people with speeches. On the 10th anniversary of the attacks, I had the honor of working with a fire chief who would be speaking to a group, including his city's major, about 9/11 and the first responders who so bravely did their jobs.

As a speech writer, I can help someone take a special moment like that and turn it into something a little more memorable with the power of words. And that's why I honestly see speech writing as something that's a whole lot more than a job.

Of course I love it when moments are special because of something especially GOOD that happened all the way around. But life give us good and bad, and what was remarkable about 9/11 was the bravery that we saw and the good that ultimately came from it.

What I'll never forget about 9/11 is that this world needs all the good people it can get doing all the good they're able to do. There's never a time when we can't contribute and make the world a better place by giving the best of ourselves to others.

I've received great feedback from speech clients since 2002 when I first began this service. But I didn't really think to start collecting the best of the best feedback into a testimonial page until more recently. But I've realized ... this isn't just a great way to show others that I can help them. It's also a great way to keep feeling motivated about the work I'm doing.

For instance, I just worked on a wedding speech for a client who gave me this feedback:

After the first draft: "This speech is truly amazing, I am so touched, I LOVE IT! It's so great and everything I imagined it would be. You are the BEST!"

And after the second draft: " I really got to sit down and read this revision, and I think it is truly perfect!!! ---- loves it too. I think it will be a HUGE hit! It is a small price to pay to have an amazing killer speech." S.M.

You can imagine that this makes me pretty darn happy about doing what I do, knowing I've made an honest difference for someone.

Best of all ... the only testimonials I post, like this one, are unsolicited. The client gives this feedback spontaneously, and only afterward do I ask if they'd mind me using their kind words on the website. Let me say ... great clients are a heck of a reason to keep putting my best work into speeches, even after more than 10 years of writing them.